top of page

Why We Should Stop Asking Our Kids "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

  • Donna Thrash
  • Apr 4, 2017
  • 5 min read

Why We Should Stop Asking Our Kids “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

by Donna Thrash, Career Coach, LMHC

As part of a year-end class project, my son, along with 90 or so of his fellow 5th grade peers recorded for all of posterity his answer to the following question, “what you do you want be when you grow up?”

The girls’ proudly declared their ambitions to become veterinarians, dancers or singers while the boys envisioned careers as video game designers, pro basketball players or engineers.

The question at face value is innocent enough; although it seems to be asked with all seriousness at increasingly younger ages. But, here’s why we should stop asking the “what do you want to be?” question, and move on to better questions.

  1. The question assumes that there is one perfect job or career for us.

We know the world of work is rapidly changing. Perhaps one of the biggest shifts has been the transfer of loyalty that once existed between employer and employee to the new normal; the relationship that exists between employee and self & career. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics and countless articles and studies, Americans on average will change jobs 11 times, and careers twice during a lifetime. And a study conducted by business networking site, LinkedIn cites that young adults will change jobs 4 times during their first decade post college.

So why all the change? There are many factors at play but regardless of the why, the belief that there is one perfect job waiting for us is akin to thinking that there is one perfect soul mate. A client once stated with regret, “it’s time I figure out what I want to be when I grow up”. My client, a military spouse, followed her husband across the globe from assignment to assignment, raising their children and taking jobs where she could. Her belief that she had somehow failed to be all she could be because she did not have a career of her own was driven by the faulty thinking that if we do not fulfill the pledge made as children to become something, we have somehow failed.

Maybe there is not one perfect job or one perfect career. The Harvard Business Review reports that millennials see themselves as consumers of the workplace, shopping around for jobs that best align with their current needs, interests and goals. What millennials are less interested in occupational title and more interested in finding opportunities that allow them to learn and grow and to work for managers that are invested in their professional development.

  1. It assumes a myopic view of work and careers.

I worked wth a client who wanted to transition from her 15+ year career as a chef; long hours, bad schedules and hard on your feet. She had a degree in fine art, is a military veteran, worked as a veterinary assistant, art gallery owner and bartender. My client felt her vocational choices were as varied as they came; not able to see the common thread that bound each of her former occupations. We tend to gravitate toward work that is aligned with our interests, skills and talents. which form the foundation upon which occupational interests lie.

According to John Holland’s theory of career choice, we are most satisfied and engaged when doing work that is aligned with our two or three dominant personality themes. The Occupational Information Network (O*NET), developed under the sponsorship of the U.S. Department of Labor is the nations largest and primary source of occupational data. Each of the over 900 occupations are organized around Holland’s six occupational themes or interests; Realistic, Investigative, Artistic, Social, Enterprising and Conventional. People with a dominant Realistic Theme for example enjoy solving problems by hands on activity and typically enjoy working wth machines, tools, objects and animals, while those with a high Artistic Theme enjoy solving problems using innovation and creativity.

Remember my client, the chef? Each of her seemingly disparate occupations called upon two of her highest themes; Artistic and Realistic. How is this understanding helpful? Rather than pigeon hole people into selecting a “perfect fit” vocation, it might be more helpful to understand the why behind what we enjoy doing or what energizes us.

  1. It can drive school college and career readiness programs to focus on setting students up to chase rapidly changing and increasingly elusive work.

With the rapidly shifting occupational landscape driven by technology, artificial intelligence, robots, globalization, etc. can today’s schools really keep pace? Perhaps we need to redefine career readiness as students in the pipeline will likely face an uncertain future. While career readiness mandates the acquisition of job specific skills and knowledge, career readiness must also include the development of human skills such as the ability navigate change, coping and resilience skills, critical thinking and problem solving skills and the mindset of lifelong learning.

We Need To Ask Better Questions

The question, “what do you want to be when you grow up” is a one dimensional question that assumes there is one perfect job out there and does not get at the why we gravitate toward some types of work over others.

Children (and adults) should be asked,

  • How do you solve problems? Do you prefer to work alone or with others? Do you prefer to follow a plan or trial and error.

  • How do you make decisions? Do you consider what is fair or what is just? Do you go with your gut or use logic and reason?

  • How do you take in information from the world around you? Do you use your intuition and instincts or do you trust what you see and hear?

  • What are you interested in? What books do you read, movies? What do you do in your free time?

  • What would you love to do if you could not fail?

  • What types of activities can you loose yourself in?

The resulting self-awareness will indeed help you create a career roadmap, where you are the driver and the navigator. Stop offs at one place or another along the journey will be an intentional detour, short cut, weigh point, or sightseeing excursion.

In a workshop I conduct for job seekers over 50, I ask, “what did you dream of becoming when you were a child?” Fewer than 10% of participants report ever doing the work they dreamed of as a child. Are then the vocational aspirations of a child simply fantasy? Not really. Upon further questioning, I discover that while most never became what they once dreamed of becoming, they did engage in work that tapped into the same occupational theme profile. Those who dreamed of being nurses often found themselves as teachers or personal care aids. Veterinarians became biologists while flight attendants became legal secretaries.

When we start asking better questions, we gain a better understanding of what we enjoy doing and why we enjoy it. The what and the why become threads that binds all the seemingly disparate jobs together into a logical and cohesive pattern of choices. Once we know the what and the why, we can begin to see our career as a fluid and dynamic part of who we are and will be better equipped to successfully engage in and navigate an ever shifting career landscape.


 
 
 

8 Comments


whizseed whizseed
whizseed whizseed
Jul 01

By displaying the BEE Registration for Light Commercial Air Conditioner label on product helps the consumer to make rational decisions and choose energy efficient product. Customers are able to compare products according to energy efficiency because the label usually provides the star rating, power usage, and other important information. Air conditioners that are registered with BEE are guaranteed to fulfil the government's minimum energy performance criteria (MEPS).

Like

Maxwell Marco
Maxwell Marco
Jul 01

Stats homework are required; the online statistics tutors can be reached around-the-clock. Simply let them know what kind of statistics homework you need help with, and they'll connect you with the most qualified teacher. They have the most excellent stats coaches. Additionally, they are currently available online to assist with anything from randomization to associations to likelihood. They will assist you in completing challenging statistics homework help online, proofread your responses, and ensure that you comprehend important ideas before the subsequent test. Get concise answers to your statistical queries and improve your comprehension with detailed instructions. 


Like

payforonlineclass2
Jun 27

Students can get professional support from online assignment help providers to finish their academic assignments quickly.These services are intended to help students in a number of topics, such as business studies, science, literature, and mathematics.Students may better manage their workloads and raise their scores with assignment help's individualized solutions, prompt delivery, and excellent work.Professional tutors simplify difficult subjects and provide thoroughly researched material, guaranteeing that the assignments satisfy the necessary academic requirements.Assignment assistance services are helpful for students who want to succeed academically and gain a deeper understanding of their subjects, whether they are writing essays, solving issues, or making presentations.

Like

Rajesh Sharma
Rajesh Sharma
Apr 29

Delhi, being one of India’s leading education hubs, hosts some of the finest institutions offering Post Graduate Diploma in Management (PGDM) programs. Known for academic rigor, excellent faculty, and strong industry linkages, the top PGDM colleges in Delhi provide students with the skills and knowledge needed to excel in today’s competitive business world. These colleges emphasize practical learning, leadership development, global business exposure, and 100% placement support.

Some of the best PGDM colleges in Delhi include Indian Institute of Foreign Trade (IIFT), International Management Institute (IMI), FORE School of Management, Lal Bahadur Shastri Institute of Management (LBSIM), and New Delhi Institute of Management (NDIM). As highlighted by MyCampusReview, these institutes offer industry-relevant specializations, global exchange programs, corporate mentorship, and strong placement records,…


Like

Score Cred10
Score Cred10
Apr 03

I had to deal with getting my Lyft account reactivated recently, and I can tell you it wasn't as straightforward as I hoped. First, I tried reaching out to their support team, but I was just getting automated responses. After a bit of back and forth, I found that one of the most important things is making sure you follow up with any documentation they ask for—whether that’s proof of identity or payment verification. If your account was deactivated for a violation or issue that you believe was a mistake, you'll likely need to dispute it directly with Lyft. For anyone facing this issue, I found a helpful guide on how to reactivate your account, which includes some steps I…

Like
Featured Posts
Recent Posts
    bottom of page